After reading a myriad of things people online had to say about where I grew up- drug problem, joblessness, bitter people... I was so disheartened. That was when I decided that NOW was the time to step up and do my civic duty and let people know that this CAN be a great place to raise your family.
So in response to all the evil naysayers- this is what I said:
On the other hand...I grew up there too. I don't have a meth problem, I do have a successful career, and it created enough humbleness in my heart to remind me that where you come from doesn't define you as much as where you end up.
Of course I do drink alot to deal with stress, have promiscuous sex- due to early childhood sex abuse by a friendly man in that town, and self esteem issues that will plague me forever because of all the bullying and rumors I had to deal with while going to school there.
Other than that... I'm 100% fine.
Good luck!
What do you think? It made you want to move there, didn't it?
:)
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Monday, February 16, 2009
I Made This For Sexual Harassment Awareness Day At Work
Loving Your Employees....
Does not involve YOU putting your hands on MY ass
This Is Why They Call Me A Heartbreaker
Do you really want to know why women leave?
We leave because of the gnawing little voice in the back of our heads that says we deserve better or that you deserve better.
We leave because even after we told you how a particular aspect of the relationship was affecting us, it stayed the same. Valid or not, it was a deal breaker.
We leave because we are a little screwed up and that in combination with your “little screwed up” is too much to handle.
We leave because we don’t love you anymore or we love ourselves more. We may have at one time thought you were the center of our universe but that time passed and now we just feel empty. We might be fond but you don’t rock our world.
We leave because hurting you further makes us feel horrible. I don’t want to spend my time wasting yours. And I don’t want to feel like a parasite because leaving you might cause hurt feelings.
In the end, you get the better deal. I could never love you like you deserve, even if you tried to fix whatever the deal breaker was, it is still too late. I checked out and I can’t check back in.
Simplistically- this is why women leave.
We leave because of the gnawing little voice in the back of our heads that says we deserve better or that you deserve better.
We leave because even after we told you how a particular aspect of the relationship was affecting us, it stayed the same. Valid or not, it was a deal breaker.
We leave because we are a little screwed up and that in combination with your “little screwed up” is too much to handle.
We leave because we don’t love you anymore or we love ourselves more. We may have at one time thought you were the center of our universe but that time passed and now we just feel empty. We might be fond but you don’t rock our world.
We leave because hurting you further makes us feel horrible. I don’t want to spend my time wasting yours. And I don’t want to feel like a parasite because leaving you might cause hurt feelings.
In the end, you get the better deal. I could never love you like you deserve, even if you tried to fix whatever the deal breaker was, it is still too late. I checked out and I can’t check back in.
Simplistically- this is why women leave.
This will only hurt for a minute and then it'll all feel good
Look Guys,
A lot of you are my friends, some of you are my best friends, I listen to your stories and I laugh at your jokes. I impress you with my ability to keep up with your witty sense of humor. I listen to you bitch about your work, your girlfriends, and how much yard work you have to do. And I don't mind. I completely adore you. With all that being said let's move on because recently you have been PISSING me off!!! I want to get some things straight:
1. Do NOT call me to tell me that you are getting a divorce and expect me to act as if I'm so excited I'm going to immediately drop my panties and become your first post break-up sex muse. If you're getting a divorce most likely you're speaking to me about the mother of your children. I am a mother of children. I didn't like it when my ex pulled out all the stops on me and I don't think it's an appropriate time for you to be thinking of how many ways you can try to charm me into sending naked photos to your phone. It completely makes you less attractive to me. Get a grip. You are not a 15 year old boy full of raging hormones- you are a grown adult who is about to take the emotional ride of your life. Save your energy for that.
2. DON'T tell me for the 18th thousandth time that your girlfriend is a raging bitch that is breaking up with you any moment now. "I swear we broke up Saturday night.. Sheeeeeee just wouldn't leave". Whatever Dude! I've heard the story 685 times this month. She's not leaving- EVER. I don't care if she has her damn hand on the door knob, keys in her hand, best friend on speed dial, screaming at you that your are this year's poster boy for Prick of the Year... She is not going anywhere. I tell you what... Next time try this: Walk up to her and try to pry her hand off the knob while pushing her out the door. I guarantee she'll dig her heels in so quick you'll need a crank wench to move her. Do you know why she pulls this little charade? It’s because she wants you to stop her. That's it. That's the secret. She never has the intention to leave; she just wants to hear you ask her to stay. And if you don't- she'll stay anyway.
3. And now I'm just getting amped up. IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP BREAK! UP! WITH! HER! Don't wait to catch her doing something wrong. Don't hope that she'll do it for you. Stop being a pussy and tell her you're not happy. And then move on. No amount of excuses you give me for staying in the relationship can preserve my respect for you after you've told me for the 20th time how miserable she makes your life. Pull your balls back out of her purse and do something about it!
4. This is my favorite. Do not ever preface any sentence with "I don't think she'd do that". Unless you are referring to a nasty rumor you heard where she was blowing the new counter boy at the gas station where she works and you want to give her the benefit of the doubt- DO NOT SAY THAT PHRASE. Because Men, here's the truth. When it comes to checking your email, tricking your passwords out of you, searching your cell phone bill, checking your text messages, fake myspacing to spy on you, following you to work, being shitty to your female friends, and acting like a snotty bitch when you're not looking- if you actually look at me and say "I don't think she'd do that" I'm going to tell you exactly what I told my best friend just two days ago- FUCK OFF!!! Of course she would, she does, and she is going to continue to do so. If you seriously are stupid enough to think that she won't do those things, please for god sakes stop talking and save the precious oxygen your brain obviously needs.
5. Don't ask me to be your personal masturbation plan. I'm sorry you are unhappy. I'm glad you’re single and want to play. It's too bad you are so swamped with work. She won’t give it up???- Terrible! Oh.. You're grandma died and you just want somebody to snuggle with? Well... Try to hire a craigslist whore. I am not about to be your plan B. Nor am I about to put a kill target on my chest so that your psycho girlfriend can spend months torturing me. The beautiful thing about my life is that I am single, smart, super cute, and have a wicked sense of humor. Being that I'm single I can screw- at will- anyone I choose. In the past that might have left room for you but nowadays... not so much. I am not going to be your back burner girl, your comfort in the night, or your little minx.
6. For GOD SAKE please, please, please don't call me after 3 months and ask if "I'm cheating on you" in a failed attempt find out if I have a boyfriend or am up for a booty call. The answer when approached like this will always be NO! Remember- I'm single. If you want to know if I'm up for whatever, just ask. I find that 10 times more attractive.
7. I am not your personal feel good. Just because your self esteem has taken a few knocks I don't want to get text messages from you at all hours of the day slyly begging for an ego boost. It's getting so old. I love talking to you- I do not love being your 1-900 text message service. There are commercials for that service that run after 11pm, approximately the same time you are masturbating each night- call them but please have your visa ready.
8. For all of you sweethearts that have so lovingly explained to me time and time again over the years- even though I protested- that all my male friends secretly want to fuck me. Thank you! I'm pretty sure you're right.
I'm glad we could have this conversation. It really helped me get it off my chest and hopefully it saved me from having to repeat myself over and over again. I appreciate it. It was either post here on craigslist or choke the living shit out of one of you. And I really don't want to go to prison. I'm too pretty to be stuffed in a cell with tattooed women that want to show me just how good a woman can be.
THANKS GUYS!
P.s. NO- I WON’T do a THREESOME no matter what the circumstances are- EVER! :)
A lot of you are my friends, some of you are my best friends, I listen to your stories and I laugh at your jokes. I impress you with my ability to keep up with your witty sense of humor. I listen to you bitch about your work, your girlfriends, and how much yard work you have to do. And I don't mind. I completely adore you. With all that being said let's move on because recently you have been PISSING me off!!! I want to get some things straight:
1. Do NOT call me to tell me that you are getting a divorce and expect me to act as if I'm so excited I'm going to immediately drop my panties and become your first post break-up sex muse. If you're getting a divorce most likely you're speaking to me about the mother of your children. I am a mother of children. I didn't like it when my ex pulled out all the stops on me and I don't think it's an appropriate time for you to be thinking of how many ways you can try to charm me into sending naked photos to your phone. It completely makes you less attractive to me. Get a grip. You are not a 15 year old boy full of raging hormones- you are a grown adult who is about to take the emotional ride of your life. Save your energy for that.
2. DON'T tell me for the 18th thousandth time that your girlfriend is a raging bitch that is breaking up with you any moment now. "I swear we broke up Saturday night.. Sheeeeeee just wouldn't leave". Whatever Dude! I've heard the story 685 times this month. She's not leaving- EVER. I don't care if she has her damn hand on the door knob, keys in her hand, best friend on speed dial, screaming at you that your are this year's poster boy for Prick of the Year... She is not going anywhere. I tell you what... Next time try this: Walk up to her and try to pry her hand off the knob while pushing her out the door. I guarantee she'll dig her heels in so quick you'll need a crank wench to move her. Do you know why she pulls this little charade? It’s because she wants you to stop her. That's it. That's the secret. She never has the intention to leave; she just wants to hear you ask her to stay. And if you don't- she'll stay anyway.
3. And now I'm just getting amped up. IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP BREAK! UP! WITH! HER! Don't wait to catch her doing something wrong. Don't hope that she'll do it for you. Stop being a pussy and tell her you're not happy. And then move on. No amount of excuses you give me for staying in the relationship can preserve my respect for you after you've told me for the 20th time how miserable she makes your life. Pull your balls back out of her purse and do something about it!
4. This is my favorite. Do not ever preface any sentence with "I don't think she'd do that". Unless you are referring to a nasty rumor you heard where she was blowing the new counter boy at the gas station where she works and you want to give her the benefit of the doubt- DO NOT SAY THAT PHRASE. Because Men, here's the truth. When it comes to checking your email, tricking your passwords out of you, searching your cell phone bill, checking your text messages, fake myspacing to spy on you, following you to work, being shitty to your female friends, and acting like a snotty bitch when you're not looking- if you actually look at me and say "I don't think she'd do that" I'm going to tell you exactly what I told my best friend just two days ago- FUCK OFF!!! Of course she would, she does, and she is going to continue to do so. If you seriously are stupid enough to think that she won't do those things, please for god sakes stop talking and save the precious oxygen your brain obviously needs.
5. Don't ask me to be your personal masturbation plan. I'm sorry you are unhappy. I'm glad you’re single and want to play. It's too bad you are so swamped with work. She won’t give it up???- Terrible! Oh.. You're grandma died and you just want somebody to snuggle with? Well... Try to hire a craigslist whore. I am not about to be your plan B. Nor am I about to put a kill target on my chest so that your psycho girlfriend can spend months torturing me. The beautiful thing about my life is that I am single, smart, super cute, and have a wicked sense of humor. Being that I'm single I can screw- at will- anyone I choose. In the past that might have left room for you but nowadays... not so much. I am not going to be your back burner girl, your comfort in the night, or your little minx.
6. For GOD SAKE please, please, please don't call me after 3 months and ask if "I'm cheating on you" in a failed attempt find out if I have a boyfriend or am up for a booty call. The answer when approached like this will always be NO! Remember- I'm single. If you want to know if I'm up for whatever, just ask. I find that 10 times more attractive.
7. I am not your personal feel good. Just because your self esteem has taken a few knocks I don't want to get text messages from you at all hours of the day slyly begging for an ego boost. It's getting so old. I love talking to you- I do not love being your 1-900 text message service. There are commercials for that service that run after 11pm, approximately the same time you are masturbating each night- call them but please have your visa ready.
8. For all of you sweethearts that have so lovingly explained to me time and time again over the years- even though I protested- that all my male friends secretly want to fuck me. Thank you! I'm pretty sure you're right.
I'm glad we could have this conversation. It really helped me get it off my chest and hopefully it saved me from having to repeat myself over and over again. I appreciate it. It was either post here on craigslist or choke the living shit out of one of you. And I really don't want to go to prison. I'm too pretty to be stuffed in a cell with tattooed women that want to show me just how good a woman can be.
THANKS GUYS!
P.s. NO- I WON’T do a THREESOME no matter what the circumstances are- EVER! :)
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